Welcome to the long demanded, never reprimanded return of the Tuesday Top Five on Wednesday! Each week (or when I don’t forget), I will present at least one top five list on Wednesday for you to mull over, agree with, disagree with, or ignore completely! It is the Tuesday Top Five because alliteration is always fun. But I present it to you on Wednesday because Wednesday should not be shunned just because its the longest word of all of the days.
My Top Five Current Weaknesses
5. Bears
4. Large Russians
3. Words that begin with the letter x that aren’t xylophone
2. Dakota Fanning
1. Bullets
Honorable Mention: Pain, sharp objects, women
Top Five Nicknames For Someone Named Wesley
5. Wes
4. Wessles
3. Simply The Wes (dun dun dun dun, better than all the rest)
2. Leslie
1. Westicle
Welcome to the Tuesday Top Five on Wednesday! Each week, I will present at least one top five list on Wednesday for you to mull over, agree with, disagree with, or ignore completely! It is the Tuesday Top Five because alliteration is always fun. But I present it to you on Wednesday because Wednesday should not be shunned just because its the longest word of all of the days.
Top Five Weirdest Names (These are real names of real people)
5. Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, British political candidate self-renamed after a Monty Python character. Born John Desmond Lewis.
4. Mister Thorne, named because his mother figured (literally) that he’d become a high school geometry teacher when he grew up
3. Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com, PETA activist originally named Chris Garnett
2. Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Bastards, (see right side bar at link) Born Michael Howard but changed his name legally after being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft
1. Wolfe+585, Senior, (just click the link) the man with the longest name ever, including his first and all of his middle names beginning with a different letter of the alphabet.
Honorable Mention: Notwithstanding Griswold, Vista Avalon (Microsoft VP’s daughter), States Rights Gist (Confederate general during the Civil War), Yahoo Serious (Writer/Director/Actor from Young Einstein)
Top Five Sexiest Sports Names
5. Irina Slutskaya, Olympic medalist and Russian figure skater
4. Ron Tugnutt, Former all-star NHL Goalie
3. Johnny Dickshot, played outfield in Major League Baseball from 1936 to 1945
2. Dick Trickle, one of NASCARs most famous drivers
1. Chubby Cox, played seven games for the Washington Bullets in 1982 and is the Uncle-in-law of Kobe Bryant
Honorable Mention: Assol Slivets, Olympic freestyle skier
Welcome to the Tuesday Top Five on Wednesday! Each week, I will present at least one top five list on Wednesday for you to mull over, agree with, disagree with, or ignore completely! It is the Tuesday Top Five because alliteration is always fun. But I present it to you on Wednesday because Wednesday should not be shunned just because its the longest word of all of the days.
Top Five Jelly Belly Flavors No One Knows About
Note: These are actual flavors. Feel free to look them up.
5. Ear Wax
4. Booger
3. Baby Wipes
2. Pencil Shavings
1. Vomit
Honorable Mention: Bacon, Dirt, Soap, Lemon
Top Five TV Dramas Currently On TV
5. Dirty Sexy Money
4. Heroes
3. Life
2. Pushing Daisies
1. Chuck
Honorable Mention: House
Top Five TV Comedies Currently On TV
5. Scrubs
4. South Park
3. 30 Rock
2. How I Met Your Mother
1. The Office
Honorable Mention: The Big Bang Theory, The Sarah Silverman Program
Welcome to the Tuesday Top Five on Wednesday! Each week, I will present a top five list(s) on Wednesday for you to mull over, agree with, disagree with, or ignore completely! It is the Tuesday Top Five because alliteration is always fun. But I present it to you on Wednesday because Wednesday should not be shunned just because its the longest word of all of the days.
Top Five Forgotten Holidays
5. Take Your Illegitimate Child To Work Day
4. Z-Day (The day the zombies took over the earth)
3. George Clooney Day
2. You and you wife’s Anniversary
1. Canadian Veteran’s Day
Honorable Mention: German Samaritan Day, National Poncho Day, My Birthday
Top Five Restaurants With a Computer Theme
5. Mouse Trap (American)
4. +hë F00d 3mp0ri0u/\/\ (Cafeteria)
3. Bill’s House of Taking Your Money And Ruling The World (Italian)
2. Error Code 24 (Tex Mex)
1. Pooters (Hooters-style, but with Robots)
Honorable Mentions: Customer Service (Indian), The Constant Upgrade (????)

