We’re not MA!!

by helen on November 30th, 2007
Posted In: Blogs, helen

Apparently, they are trying to implement universal health care in CALIFORNIA. That’s right. UNIVERSAL health care. UNIVERSAL. Just like what they have in MA.

Why, why is CA following MA!?

First and foremost, MA, no offense, but UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE is not smart; especially for CA. Why? Because one, CA has 2, 3, maybe even 4x the people than MA. And since CA is closer to our neighbors down south, CA must have more poor people. Duh, obviously. Not only them, but every year, thousands of ‘transplants’ find their way to CA.

It’s nice to have health care and it’s also sad to not have health care. Oh, believe me. I know the pain and agony of not having health care when you truly need it.

But, how is the poor going to afford mandatory health care? They can’t even afford regular health care right now! Not even the cheapest one!

Like the other 40 million people in this nation, we feel we don’t need health care. Relatively, we are healthy. Relatively. Or we hoped that we’d get over our illness without the need of professional medical care.

Yet, there are still the 20 or so million that need health care but cannot obtain it because they either need a roof under their head or feed their growling stomachs. So, how do you solve this dilemma?

NOT UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE, that’s for sure. How does mandatory withdrawal of your paycheck help?! MA’s health care costs about $200; how does this help someone who lives paycheck to paycheck? You’re actually causing more heartache to them. They NEED that 100 or 200$. Not taken away if they’re not actively using the ‘benefit’. It’s like free money to the government, on top of what we pay.

Does health care cover vision costs? Does it cover dental costs? No. It only covers health care costs. Doctor visits. Toothache? No. Root canal? No. WHAT!? What good are you to me Universal health care!!!

Face it, we see our dentists more often than our doctors. We even see our optometrists more often than our doctors. Can we include the whole package?! Then the 200$ per month would be great. Don’t you think so?!

20 million poor + expensive ‘low priced’ mandated insurance fee = more money for our government. AWESOME.


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Tuesday Top Five on Wednesday: Jellyvision Edition

by chad on November 28th, 2007
Posted In: Blogs, chad
boobies

Welcome to the Tuesday Top Five on Wednesday! Each week, I will present at least one top five list on Wednesday for you to mull over, agree with, disagree with, or ignore completely! It is the Tuesday Top Five because alliteration is always fun. But I present it to you on Wednesday because Wednesday should not be shunned just because its the longest word of all of the days.

Top Five Jelly Belly Flavors No One Knows About
Note: These are actual flavors. Feel free to look them up.
5. Ear Wax
4. Booger
3. Baby Wipes
2. Pencil Shavings
1. Vomit

Honorable Mention: Bacon, Dirt, Soap, Lemon

Top Five TV Dramas Currently On TV
5. Dirty Sexy Money
4. Heroes
3. Life
2. Pushing Daisies
1. Chuck

Honorable Mention: House

Top Five TV Comedies Currently On TV
5. Scrubs
4. South Park
3. 30 Rock
2. How I Met Your Mother
1. The Office

Honorable Mention: The Big Bang Theory, The Sarah Silverman Program


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Quality Assurance

by gerry on November 26th, 2007
Posted In: Blogs, gerry
Gerry

Having finally gotten a taste of the video game industry from the inside, I have to say; I love it. I was lucky enough to have gotten that taste from a company known to employ some of the coolest, most interesting people in the industry. I was also lucky to have been working on one of the bigger releases of the year. The company? Harmonix. The game? Rock Band.

For the 2 months I worked at Harmonix on Rock Band, even though we were in 70+ hour a week crunches, life was a dream. I had finally put my foot in the door and gotten a chance to work on a game many people were waiting on.

I was in the QA department.

Ok, how many people did I lose there? People think QA and go, “Oh, well you didn’t really work on the game, you just played it all day.” To which I reply, “If it were only that easy my friend.” As most people know by now, we were partnered with EA and MTV. EA is not really known for their exceptional QA abilities (just look at the quality of their releases for the past few years). While there were a few good ones, the majority of them submitted the most unintelligible bugs ever. Internal QA really had to restrain ourselves from going off on them (though it did still happen from time to time).

There were a few things we had to do that I didn’t agree with to make the dead line, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Also remember that Rock Band was built from the ground up in only a year. Did we live up to everyone’s expectations? I’ll let you decide. While it may not have trumped number one, I’d like to think it’s up there with fans of the music/rhythm genre of games. And yes, I am aware that Zelda took the spot back.

As for the people I worked with, they were all awesome. I also finally found some great guitar competition for Rock Band and GH of old. Overall, everyone there was just awesome, and the company treated us like they actually cared (mmm late night dinners and Friday lunches).

As for what I think of GH3, I owned it for about two weeks before getting bored with it and trading it in. I played GH1 and 2 for the entire year while waiting for the new ones to come out. I just feel like Neversoft didn’t understand what made GH special. Sure, the solos on the later songs were bitchin’, and the inclusion of Dragonforce was pretty sweet, but the visuals made me want to go cry in a corner.

I haven’t mentioned this about myself yet, but I am a Graphic Artist/3D modeler. And what I saw in GH3 horrified me. The drummer was extremely clunky, Judy Nails turned into Super Slut™, and the singer… Why did he have his balls surgically attached to his chin? Yeah, it’s about the music, that comes first, but damn guys, when your dummer looks like a robot something ain’t right. Now the 2D animated sections, those character designs looked beautiful. Why couldn’t Neversoft have used them?

In closing, I would like to take a quote from Brian Clevinger of 8-bit theater fame, “Point is, about 80% of GH3 consists of songs I’d never listen to. They’re still mostly fun to play, but differently. GH2 made me appreciate songs and artists that I previously didn’t care about because it showcased the talent behind the music. By comparison, GH3 seems like some dudes happened to enjoy some random songs and, hey wouldn’t you know it, these guys are working on this guitar game. The songs on GH3 just don’t have anything to “say” about music. Rock Band’s playlist kind of emphasizes that distinction. Most of those songs don’t really interest me as songs, but I find them downright compelling as pieces of music to “play”. The way GH2 did.”


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Proposition 187

by helen on November 26th, 2007
Posted In: Blogs, helen

I was asked to take this survey for some public something policy administration class by my sister’s friend.

Here’s how it went down on AIM:

me: wat u gonna do with this info
friend: i have to discuss my chosen proposition, explain its policy formulation and evaluation process, discuss the survey results, provide pie chart
me: soo u’re collectin data from ppl and see wat they think
me: its not a real survey!! its helpin u to do ur hw!!
me: cheater!!

So, as a nice person that I am, I participated. Mind you, it is quite long. Read with caution.

What is Proposition 187?
California Proposition 187 was a 1994 ballot initiative designed to deny illegal immigrants social services, health care, and public education.

Proposition 187 included several additions to the law, falling into two categories:
- All law enforcement agents who suspect that a person who has been arrested is in violation of immigration laws must investigate the detainee’s immigration status, and if they find evidence of illegality they must report it to the attorney general of California, and to the federal Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS).
- No one may receive public benefits until they have proven their legal right to reside in the country. If anyone applies for benefits and is suspected by government agents of being illegal, those agents must report in writing to the enforcement authorities. Emergency medical care is exempted as required by federal law but all other medical benefits have the same test as above. Primary and secondary education is explicitly included.

Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Asian/Pacific Islander
Do you support the proposition? Yes and No
Please explain:

We live in a capitalistic country—we fend for ourselves and ourselves only. If anyone gets in our way, we’ll stomp them like a bug. If someone bothers us, we’ll gently wave our hands as if we’re shoo-ing away a pesky fly. Why? Simply because we have better things to do than to bother with such ‘nuisances.’

Why should it be any different for an illegal immigrant? What makes them so special that we pay attention to them? As a capitalist, who cares. Illegal immigrants took the courage, money and made ridiculous sacrifices to join our rat race. Why not let them join us?

Most of our ‘citizen’ population can barely keep up with this rat race. In fact, at least 1/3 of our population are laggers and will only walk, never run or even jog—just like when we had PE in middle school; you know who I’m talking about.

Isn’t becoming something from nothing part of the American culture? What good sense does it make to let our ‘privileged’ citizens remain laggers and stomp illegals who are willing to succeed? How will this help our economy? It doesn’t, it only hinders it. Face it, we’re adding more laggers to the race, not diminishing it. Maybe we should create a human bartering system with other countries; except who would be willing to take our laggers? No country would. If I were President of a country, I would 187 them before they set foot in my land.

Sure, take away the health benefits and other ‘citizen’ privileges, but we should not and cannot be the ones to determine if they should receive an education. The basic fundamental of an education is to increase our knowledge and wisdom—removing them from our public school education will not defeat this. In fact, it may do the exact opposite.

Alas, our taxes. We pay taxes and by no means should an illegal reap our possible benefits. I digress. As a citizen, we merely indirectly support these programs. It is up to the government to decide on how our hard earned dollars are spent—this is our unsaid contract for living here. We are given the illusion that we have control.

Also, I question our logic: It’s okay to have our government officials spend excessive amount of our taxes on dinners, conferences, lodging, drug smuggling (i.e. FBI and Colombia), have slow and inefficient courtroom/DMV employees, but when an illegal tries to obtain an education (either to learn or to stay out of trouble) that’s a big no-no? Wouldn’t you prefer illegals to be safely tucked away at school than to have them roaming around the streets doing God knows what?

Even if this proposition is approved, the number of illegal immigrants will never cease. Middle runners of the rat race are too busy to pay close attention and the top runners are too successful to even care. All that is left are the laggers—and we know what big gossips they were back in day.

Comment: Now I wonder if she used my real data to include in her presentation :p


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February 2nd

by chad on November 24th, 2007
Posted In: Blogs, chad
Up Chuck the boogie

You ever have one of those days where you wake up and everything looks exactly as it was when you woke up the previous day. You start to move around, drive around, and everything just looks exactly the same. You feel like you are stuck in a loop. You feel like it is Groundhog Day.

Let me preface the rest of the blog by stating that, after viewing said 1993 masterpiece starring Bill Murray, I have slept fully through every February 2nd (with the exception of 2/2/2, which for obvious reasons, I re-watched the film, although I was scared to death while doing so). It is a very planned out process, trust me. You try sleeping over 24 hours straight without waking up, its tough. And if you succeed, tell me what your secret was, I’m always open to new ideas. I’m sure, being the red-blooded Alaskan that you are, you want to know my process for sleeping through February 2nd.

It all starts, oddly enough, on Christmas Eve. A healthy sleep cycle is one of the foundations of proper living. And, since I’ve been trying to catch that bastard thats been eating my cookies on December 24th (I mean, its every freakin’ year!), I decide to start prepping my mind and body on that day. On that day, I attempt to stay up until I see sun. But, since my body has yet to be trained, I usually fall asleep around 4 AM (3 AM Central). I wake up to a preset alarm at roughly 8 PM. This way, my body is getting used to sleeping for long periods. Yes, I understand that this way I don’t get to catch who stole my cookies, and yes, I understand this means I “sleep through Christmas”, but we all must make sacrifices sometimes for our own sanity.

Now, my body is used to falling asleep at 4 AM (3 AM Central). Unfortunately, I have work. This means I wake up at 9 AM everyday. The early rise is not an issue, but the healthy 5 hour nap is. So, to offset this, I sleep at work. A lot.

When January 31st rolls around, I buy myself a 24 pack of the latest energy drink craze (this year it was Pimp Juice!) and get ready to stay up 55 hours straight. I usually have DVDs of whatever TV show is the latest craze (this year it was Guiding Light!). Then, at precisely 11 PM on Feb 1, I inject myself with a high dosage of Morphine and pass out. And the next time I awake, I’ve skipped Feb 2nd.

Sure, some years, I’ve woken up in March from a coma. And sure, some years I’ve OD’d, ended up in rehab and worked my way through “the system”. And sure, this ritual causes me to have to find a new job each year. But, it’s worth it.

Can you imagine the egg on my face if I didn’t sleep through Groundhog Day and woke up in a time loop?


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Ah, the Capitalist Season

by Sean on November 22nd, 2007
Posted In: Blogs, sean
Sean

Today I present for your consideration: Black Friday. First of all, why that name? I understand we don’t really have a national “Sorry For Fucking You Over, Black People Day”, but I don’t think “Black Friday” quite suffices, so that can’t be it. Come to think of it, Thanksgiving really doesn’t say “Sorry For Fucking You Over, Native American People” either, so maybe I’m seeing a connection where there is none.

Perhaps a more appropriate day name would be “Manifest Destiny Day”, but we Americans are extremely adept at couching potentially unpopular topics in devastatingly misleading language (see: The Patriot Act). It is highly amusing to me that we make an entire national holiday out of the fact that we had ONE nice meal with these guys before we flogged them to near extinction with rolled up smallpox blankets. You don’t see “National Cameraderie Day” celebrating the roughly 10 minute gap between meeting Africans for the first time and slapping them in leg irons during which we WEREN’T actually slapping them in leg irons.

But I digress. This post is about Black Friday, that magical day immediately following Thanksgiving when all the malls have ridiculous sales to kick off the Christmas season. What better way to say “Now that we’ve gotten THAT bullshit out of the way, time to start BUYING SHIT!” We, as Americans, need EVERY SECOND POSSIBLE to celebrate our capitalist souls. Our primary method of celebration is by purchasing stupid shit for people that don’t need it in the hopes of receiving, in return, other stupid shit that we not only don’t need but don’t even want. But we don’t say that, we bare our teeth and grin out something like “Oh, wow, a nutcracker shaped like Hillary Clinton’s thighs! I’m allergic to nuts, but it’s ok, because this thing will STILL be humorous and heartwarming even after the elections are over! What a considerate friend you are!” That drivel is even EASIER to say if the gift YOU got THEM is even worse than the gift THEY got YOU! Santa Claus would be rolling in his grave if he wasn’t laughing so hard over having stolen the holiday from Jesus. The joke’s on him, though: Jesus stole it from the winter solstice! Fuck you, pagans!

You may have noticed I’m not a big holiday person, especially when it comes to the quasireligious ones. As Dorfl the golem once said, “Either all days are holy, or none are.” In regards to Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, St. Patrick’s Day, Presidents’ Day, and to a lesser extent, Cinco de Mayo, I really don’t think Americans need any more excuse to indulge their buying habit. I think the fact that stores are usually open seven days a week is evidence enough to suggest that we celebrate Capitalism EVERY damn day and the other holidays are just frivolous. The sooner these domesticated fucking sheeple wake up to the fact that our entire society revolves around the nearest shopping mall, the better off we’ll all be. And Happy Holidays!

Omnium Bonum Est


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