I am not making up any of this in any way. Prepare to be amazed… or find me even stranger than usual. Either way, it’ll be funny.
I was listening to and singing along with Richard Cheese’s first CD on my way home from work this evening. Richard Cheese, if you don’t know, performs lounge-style covers of popular songs that are in no way even CLOSE to the lounge genre. It’s really, really good stuff, mellow, dirty and uplifting all at the same time. I was halfway through Buddy Holly as I exited my car and entered my apartment; I finished it upon getting inside, cracked open a beer, and then proceeded to deliver the following monologue totally ad-libbed out loud in my apartment in (what I felt was) a nearly pitch- and pacing-perfect Garrison Keillor voice. It felt like a natural extension of the pitch of Buddy Holly, so I went with it, and it turned out pretty decent, though the timing is definitely from his older-school, more deliberate pace, the one with which I grew up. I will admit some Eddie Izzard started to creep in around paragraph four, but I got it out by the end. Who cares, I’ve got beer.
Here’s as much as I can remember; punctuation denotes vocal timing as opposed to grammatical correctness. Try reading this aloud in your OWN Garrison Keillor voice, you’ll see what I mean. And if you’re really, really lucky I’ll find a way to post an actual audio version of this soon.
