In fact, you don’t need to spend $$$ on media if you don’t want to. All you have to do is smooze and sell yourself to those voting in the electoral votes. As long as you win the electoral votes and lose in the popular vote, you still win. George Monkey Man Bush (W is actually an M) did it, so can you!

Of course, that could never really work from a narrative perspective because EVERYONE knows that Rock Beats Scissors and NOT the other way around… even IF Scissors was able to work up the courage necessary to take the fight to Rock, it would not avail her. Rock Beats Scissors, that’s just the way it is. So now, with the belief that she can NEVER get out from under Rock’s heel on her own power, Scissors is forced to hold all her rising hatred deep inside, leading her into progressively more self-destructive behaviors… and when Rock finally left her life after a horrible accident at the plant (Rock was crushed to death by a falling pallet… stacked with reams of Paper, fortunately enough… investigation was difficult due to Rock being Covered by Paper, bwahahaha) she was freed of the fear holding her back from going out and doing the things she’d always wanted… like staging a heist of the Ark of the Covenant from the Louvre’s secret subbasement. People contend to this day that she really WANTED to get caught, and her lawyer used such belief successfully to get Scissors sent to a minimum security prison… where Scissors and Paper had their fateful meeting. Paper was really just an innocent bystander in this whole affair… maybe not COMPLETELY innocent, she did try to shoplift all those thongs from Victoria’s Secret, but did Paper REALLY deserve the fate she received at the hands of Scissors? I contend that Paper was simply the wrong metaphor in the wrong place at the wrong time… and Scissors finally encountered someone whom SHE could dominate as SHE had been dominated. But it all worked out ok in the end, as Paper used the experience to become a better person, eventually making a successful bid as a Texas Representative.