We have a little something we’re working on in the background to hopefully make your experience here a little more enjoyable. I can’t say anything just yet, aside from what I just said. But be ready! And be scared! But not too scared. And if you do get too scared, don’t worry, we’ll hold you tight and caress you until you are calm and sleeping. And by we, I mean Sean. That’s his department.
During a casual conversation with a friend today about marijuana, I turned a few phrases I thought were unique in regards to the act of smoking said herb. It got me thinking; how awesome would it be if there was some form of thought sharing forum I could post those phrases? And not only that, but I could come up with many more to share! But wait, there is such a place, it’s called Wasabisoft!! YAY!
Click the read more to, ahem, read more.
Before you read this, Wasabisoft in no way, shape or form promotes or encourages the use of drugs. Unless you can get them cheap.
Here is a partial list of new phrases that can be associated with smoking marijuana (when reading, imaging you telling your friend its “time to go….”):
Swim in the shallow end
Drive down Doobie Lane
Elevate the masses
Cook with Pot Belly Joe
Rub the magic lamp (ok, so that sounds like a phrase for doing something else)
Talk to the floating genie
High five Mary
Run the mile with one leg
Inhale deeply from a cannabis filled wrapped piece of paper
Watch a documentary
Make-um smoke signals
Be Ricky Williams
Dance in the acid rain
Get really really really really really really not low
I am the Slipstream. The wind beneath your consoles wings….I will lift up new games and then without warning let them fall before your eyes.
Seriously, I will post informative reviews and analysis of games, music, and other entertainment related activities/mediums. At the same time hopefully I can make you laugh. A chuckle would even suffice.
To be a part of this Blog makes me happy, hopefully I can return the favor and make you happy for reading it.
Phil, your picture utterly scares me. Worse than Bloody Mary and Freddy Kreuger combined. It scared me when Gerry was editing it and showing us ‘drafts.’ Each and every time I saw a new link, it scared me. To the point that I didn’t want to click on the draft links for the fear that it would scare me some more.
Children beware, do not, I repeat, do NOT look at his picture for too long. He will come EAT YOU!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As per a special request from The Chad, it is now Fairytale Time™.
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a boy named Xygzyz’tkt. He was constantly mocked for his name. I mean look at that. That shit’s completely unpronounceable. There’s not even a damn vowel unless you wanna count Y and, honestly, who does. What the flying Voltron Jesus is this. Yes, Voltron Jesus. He is composed of mecha-lion Abraham, Joseph, Moses, and John the Baptist, with King David as the head. He’s so awesome. Absolves you of your sins, and then slices a Robeast in half with His sword.
Well, little captain unpronounceable went through his childhood under the cursed aegis of his name. He was unable to attend school since he was always marked absent by teachers who could not pronounce Xygzyz’tkt, and therefore dispensed with even attempting to determine his presence. He took up a career in scrubbing the grout between tiles on bathroom floors to make enough money to get by. He lived a mostly uninteresting life. His most entertaining story consisted of him once receiving an extra farthing’s worth of change at his local Ye Olde Generale Store-e. He died of name cancer in his bed at the age of 47, and his body was burned by the local community to keep the “name taint” from spreading.
Moral of the story? Don’t name your kid something bizarre and unpronounceable. Please. Even crazy spellings of normal names are out. It’s Mary, not Mayree, or Maari, or any other thing like that. All you’re doing is ensuring your kid gets mocked, and that nobody is ever able to spell their name right for the rest of their life, unless they get fed up and legally change it to the normal spelling.
–P
If it wasn’t apparent from my last post, for the past few days, I’ve been totally engrossed with Super Mario Galaxy. Playing through all the ins and outs on a quest to get 120 stars and unlock the secret. I won’t say what it is for those of you who haven’t managed to do that yet, but I will say about 10 minutes ago I completed just that and it is totally worth it.
Unfortunately, that secret was ruined for me. A disturbing trend I’m noticing in reviewing politic lately is to tell you too much about an upcoming game, including plot twists that may have otherwise been a surprise. I can understand where they are coming from, however. They are the first ones to get a copy of the game in the world. It is their job to play it and give their analysis of this product. They are also gamers, and as such, they want to be able to brag saying, “Yeah, I unlocked this.” Or, “It was so sad when…” But please, you are professionals. You should either put at the top of the article that you are including spoilers in the review. There are plenty of other things to talk about the games other than unlockables and what they are.
Because I am looking out for you, I’m going to put that this next paragraph DOES contain spoilers in an attempt to explain how reviewers are ruining things for every gamers. Though with some of these, if you didn’t already know, shame on you. Back when Final Fantasy 7 came out, one particular review said something to the effect of , “The game does a good job of evoking an emotional response in players, especially when Aeris dies at the end of disk one.” Wait, let me double back there. Aeris dies? And your fucking telling me this in a review? What the hell is the matter with you? Another one I recall off the top of my head was an image in the print EGM. They did a review of Chrono Cross in which one of the screen shots showed enemies earlier on in the game in your party.
I use older examples because I wouldn’t want to ruin some of the surprises of newer games. There’s one site in particular who is very good at this and others who seem to slip up every now and then (no I won’t name them), but there’s really no need to ruin the gaming experience for everyone. When I read the thing about Aeris, I literally stopped playing for awhile. A very good current example is how Gamepro ruined a surprise for Rock Band. I won’t say what the surprise was, but I will say they were not the ones who were supposed to release the information. The good friends of Harmonix, Score Hero, were supposed to release that information.
But what do reviewers care? It’s not like a developer can do anything or the reviewer may blacklist said developer. This is ridiculous. We make these games for everyone. Not just the over zealous game reviewer. Just because they want some attention and are trying to boost traffic is no reason to slip information. I can understand that they need to reveal enough about the game to put up a good review, but there is a point where you need to use some common sense and not let up a big secret or plot twist.
Priorities are going to be a series of posts where I point out flaws that I see, and things that need to change. Please freely express your ideas and comments.
Since I attend school away from home, I rarely get a chance to know what goes on in the outside world. College dorm life is pretty much living in a bubble of campus atmosphere. Occassionally, I like to burst this bubble (and procrastinate from studying) when I decide to go to the world wide web and read some news. You might ask, well you have a tv don’t you? Sure I do, but when you’re a science student you’re pretty much reading your book most of the time than watching tv. In any case, I went to www.ny1.com for my hometown news. The top story: Yankees And A-Rod Reportedly Close To Deal. Please imagine me doing this: …-_-?? Great, that’s the top story that everyone is very concerned about? Don’t get me wrong, if you love sports good for you. But sports is not something that is do or die, unless you’re a sports gambler and please stop gambling. I read on for further stories: Fire Rips Through Lower Manhattan Skyscraper. Now why is this story not the top story? Why is the preference of sports over a skyscraper? In fact, why isn’t there a top story of a missing child that needs to be found, or an emphasis of a robbery or murder happening in your next zip code? I mean, are you going to worry about sports when you should have paid more attention to the picture of a robber who is standing behind you on line for a morning coffee?
Yes, I know, I’m a horrible horrible contributor. But not without good reason. If not for me, none of these fools would’ve been able to make their post. Part of being a good leader is making sure things are working in the background. I would also like to take this time to thank Helen for figuring out the read more button. God it would’ve been awful to see more billion line Chad posts without it. No disrespect to Chad of course.
But I’ve also been working on getting everyone’s images ready and setting up a format for everyone’s posts, correcting a certain few people’s broken posts, and just general upkeep associated with starting a new blog. I assure you I have not been playing Super Mario Galaxy with the free time I don’t have. Surely I have not already completed that excellent game and am already on my way to one hundred and twenty stars.
Ok, I’m done with the excessive linking… for now. I would like to take this time to touch on a subject that I hate to bring up, but I must.
>edit<
I’m an idiot and the content that was here has been removed due to some violation that I stupidly was not aware of. Thanks Helen. Thanks for preventing me from getting banned.
Well, I have some work I need to get done. I am most assuredly not loading up Mario Galaxy to finish the last of the stars.
There is an epidemic starting around the world. Its been contained in the past, but it is breaking free and, quite frankly, it is starting to scare the bajeebus out of me. Be forewarned, because what I am about to tell you may shock and scare you. It may make you rethink having children. If you do have children, it may make you want to push them back into the womb. Here it goes…
More and more people are calling each other by names such as “Broseph” and “Brah”.
I know, it sends chills down your spine. But I am here to try to being to right this wrong. Unless you are a high school jock, or in some form of fraternity, you should NOT be allowed to use such terms or any variations. “Bro-dawg”, “Bro-dge”, “Broster”, all of those should be banned. There should be laws passed to punish those that think they are cooler for using such words.
There is nothing more disheartening then hearing a middle aged man call out to his middle aged friend, “Hey Brosiah.”
Please, join me in this fight. Please help me end such obnoxiousness. This is only one of the first steps in de-stupefying the world. All it takes is a fist. If you hear someone say any variations of the words listed above, please punch them and proclaim “You’re not cool!”
Thank you.
-Chad
Make the world a better place, punch brosephs in the face.
P.S. My word processor tries to auto-correct brosephs into brose pHs. I don’t know why, but I take it as a sign that even the computer is smart enough to know those people are wrong.
So yeah. A blog of some sorts? I construe I could construct a cacophony of concepts concocted by my cranial cavity here. Alliteration also, as I adore it. Essentially, I am the evil one. Every problem I encounter, my first thought is whether or not I can apply force to solve it.
Door stuck? Smash it. Sleeve caught on something? Rip it. You would not believe how short the lifespan of a pair of my pants is. This doesn’t mean I’m stupid; It’s just that I lack patience. If required, I can use tactics, strategy, guile, or any other Street Fighter character. Yes, that was a horrible Street Fighter pun. I don’t apologize. You can blame my father for that kind of thing.
That’s not to say I’m all bad. I hold rules in very high esteem. They keep us restrained. In check. They provide a structure and a set of guidelines for us to base our behavior around. I don’t refrain from committing crimes because my sense of morality tells me not to. I refrain from committing crimes because it is against the law, and there are definite consequences for such actions.
Around here, you’ll often see me posting about things that have pissed me off. Or not. To be honest, as this is the first blog-type-thing I’ve been involved in, I’m not sure how I will react. Perhaps I shall wax poetic about the virtues of having a fresh herb garden, with a weekly update on my latest aquisitions? Perhaps I shall bang out a manifesto on how ineffective an overly lenient criminal justice system is? Only time will tell.
— P